Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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