i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
