he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
