That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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