i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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