SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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