Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
