Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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