I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
