i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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