I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
