Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
