dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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