def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
