drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
