I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
