So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
