If that was your dad, he is hot
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
