STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
