I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
