Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
