So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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