I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
