That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
