Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
