Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
