i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
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