Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize