I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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