Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
