Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
