i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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