The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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