i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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