Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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