I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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