so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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