He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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