bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
