Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
