matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
