Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
