he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize