If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
