rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
