Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
