i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just high enough for therapy.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
