This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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