i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
