sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
