it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
