You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
