We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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