so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
