Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize