i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
