You really coming over, don't trick.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
