Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
