okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
